Permission to be a beginner

Mixed media painting of quirky animals produced in the online class 'Lifebook 2014'

I have been watching my children learn new things, as only children tend to - with joyful abandon. A child is free from judgement and gives themselves permission to be a beginner. They are children, therefore, by default, they are beginners at everything and we have little or no expectations of them. When do we stop granting ourselves the same freedom? Learning new things is like breathing to me. I think it is healthy and that we actually all do it continually, consciously or otherwise. But as adults we have much higher expectations of ourselves, even if we are trying to do something we have never done before. So when we pick up a paintbrush/golf club/musical instrument for the first time in our adult lives we can be so easily discouraged by those first attempts. Poor first attempts are inevitable. Actually, they are an entitlement. We have the right to play and experiment with something new, just like a child would. Turn out something as atrocious as you please - it may be the only way to getting to producing something you actually like! Jane Davenport advises that you 'trust the mess'. I see what she means. You start drawing or painting. You don't like it. Sigh. But it might just be that if you can figure out what you don't like you will have a go at changing something. Nothing to lose, right? That 'figuring out' and experimenting is the way to learn. There don't seem to be any short cuts. In an interview with Ian McKendrick (which you can hear, here) watercolour artist David Bellamy has similar advice for beginners. He suggests we should just "Get out and do it... accept that you are going to make a mess to start with". Hearing David talk about his own early work was a reassuring reminder that even the accomplished started out at the same sort of point as we did.   So let's go and try something new and be prepared to do it badly to start off with.  Is there something you have considered trying  to learn?  Does fear of being bad at it put you off trying?

"Never compare your beginning to someone else's middle"  John Acuff

Making art without attachment

Mixed media painting created in the online class Lifebook 2014

There is an art show that takes place annually a few hundred metres from my house. A while ago I decided I would like to submit something to that show one day. Since then I have eagerly enrolled in many an online class and done a lot of work in my art journals and sketchbooks. But something happens when I sit down to a separate piece of good quality paper or a new canvas. The pressure of trying to produce something I might be able to submit to a formal art show is paralysing. Being too attached to the outcome suffocates the creative process. Luckily I got a glimpse of the alternative in a recent Lifebook 2014 lesson. I really enjoyed this particular lesson video, but to be perfectly honest, the style of the teacher's finished piece didn't resonate with me. This turned out to be the biggest gift of the lesson. It meant that I could take the prompts, the ethos, the techniques from the lesson but let my own artwork unfold with no attachment to or expectations of the finished product. As a result I found the process delightful, and absorbing. I even ended up with something I really liked. I have learned a lot from teachers whose finished pieces seem to sing to me. But somehow, if you really love what they have done, your own copy is quite likely going to be a bit of a disappointment. Now I understand just how much can be gained from a teacher whose style is quite different from your own. If you are not trying to emulate a particular style you are open to a whole world of possibilities. And if you don't start out with a vision of your finished work, you have removed a criterion by which to judge (and therefore disappoint) yourself. I am learning to create for the joy of it, not for the finished product, and that in art as in life, everyone has something to teach me.

Is letting go of control actually the best way to be more in control?

Pen doodle that started with a random squiggle

I have been to a lot of little girls' seventh birthday parties recently, and every one seems to include a mandatory, very loud and heartfelt group rendition (or six) of 'Let it Go', from the movie Frozen. I have taken it as a message from the universe as art seems to be trying to teach me the same thing. Let go of control. Not so very long ago I was a working mother of baby twins in the middle of my PhD. My coping strategy back then was total control freakery (it's a word, let's just go with it...) That worked, quite well even... up to a point. My idea of control was to be totally organised, everything scheduled and prepared in advance, meals, play-dates, laundry, research seminars, work tasks, everything. At one point I remember trying to plan for my planning sessions! Obsessing over planning and preparation means you are living in the future. It becomes harder to remain present, and you can start missing out on any of the joys of now. And if your belief is that you must be prepared for every eventuality, what you are really telling yourself is that you are incapable of handling life on the fly. It turns out that the only thing you can be certain of is that uncertainty is unavoidable. Being organised is great, it's important. But when you find yourself viewing unforeseen circumstances as a planning and preparation failure, you know you have gone too far. The thing is, the very skills you use to plan and prepare are the skills you will draw on when something unexpected turns up. We all possess the creative skills to make the best of such a situation, as it arises, without prior planning. But we have to have enough faith in ourselves to allow that to happen.  Learning to draw and paint is teaching me as much about life as it is about art. Maybe more. Cheapest therapy ever. I have been drawn to doodling (ok almost addicted), and I think it is because I  have been reflecting on this idea of going with the flow, letting go of how something is supposed to be and just working with what turns up.

I started the doodle on this page with a random squiggle in the middle of the page. That seemed to be a funny face, so a face it became. I felt like making some patterns so I did. Apparently I was hungry because some cookies and cherries turned up. It is a surprising relief to just 'be'.  I am learning that you can make art without a preconceived notion of how it should look when it is finished. And you can live your life well,  without a perfect plan.

The delicate art of giving and receiving feedback

Mixed media journal page created in Jane Davenport's online class 'Create Emotion'

Feedback is a great way to learn. We all need it...but can we take it? As you may know, I have something of a mixture of fear and reverence when it comes to watercolour.  My early experiments had given me enough confidence to think about taking a class. You know, an actual live in person class... Remember those? It was an evening class which already gave me pause. I take it as an indication of my enthusiasm and commitment that I signed up in the first place since, typically, by 7 p.m. I am not good for much other than curling up on the sofa in front of the TV. Anyway, I dutifully (and nervously) packed up the necessary supplies... An extensive list, as watercolour can require a fair bit of paraphernalia, and having rushed around feeding the family early, I dashed off to my class. In the second lesson, we were painting yachts on the sea. The teacher would demonstrate at the front, then walk around the class a bit while we had a go at replicating what she did. When she got to me she paused. "Hmm," she said. Uh-oh. Then she whisked the paper off the easel, held it aloft and called everyone's attention in order to discuss the problems associated with introducing too many colours, and not properly integrating them. A perfect example of this error provided by my good self. It's okay, I'm a big girl, we are a small intimate group (of strangers who met for two hours last week). I can handle it. Everyone is going to make mistakes and we will be doing this with someone else's work next... Actually no, just mine...it turned out. Too little water, look at this everyone, ...not enough paint.... Typical composition error... etc, etc. Outwardly I think I handled this admirably. You know, a bit of grave nodding, hopefully looking detached but interested. My inner child, however, had her arms crossed very high over her chest, thunderous eyes looking up through lowered brows, bottom lip thrust forward. I think she may even have stamped her foot. Well, by the third time my painting went flying off the easel I could see her point. She thought I should tell the mean lady that Lovely Jane does this so much better. Isn't it customary to begin with a random platitude? Perhaps even a "very-nice-dear-but-perhaps-you-could-try...." ? Feedback is so important, it is such a good way to learn. But I think that giving helpful feedback might be even harder than receiving it.  I think I might stick to the safety of my online classes till I have acquired a bit more skill, or a thicker skin. I'll aim for both.

Don't know what to draw? Here is a possible solution...

Week 18 theme 'Celestial Body' for the 52 week Illustration Challenge

Sometimes, that blank page is an insurmountable problem when you are learning to draw. However, I have come across a possible solution for the problem of trying to figure out what subject to choose. Hurrah! I happened upon the 52 week illustration challenge on Facebook, and I am so glad that I did. It is open to all ages and skill levels and involves posting your illustration of the week's given theme. You can check it out here, if you want to join in or find out more. There are so many benefits to this challenge. My top three are:

1. The point of the exercise is to do more drawing and painting. This gives you a reason to produce at least one illustration per week
2. No more excuses about knowing what to draw because the theme is given to you. Just eliminating some of the possibilities presented by the blank page can be a tremendous help.
3. Being given a theme encourages you to think about drawing something different from your usual subjects. It's so easy to get stuck in a rut and draw only within your comfort zone.

The theme we have just done was 'celestial body'. It was awesome to see so many different ideas emerge from one theme - all that creativity is so inspiring!

Three ways to get started in watercolour

I have something of  a love-hate relationship with watercolour. I have owned a set of watercolours for over 10 years. Mostly they encouraged me to buy more books on how to paint with watercolours, but actually using them has been the hard part.They are daunting. Sounds so simple. Just add water. In fact it is the water that is both the charm and the vice here. It is because of the water that the colours blend and pool the way they do.  It is because of the water that control of the colour is so elusive.I have a few suggestions if you are thinking of dipping your toes in the water...colour... so to speak....The first is to let go of trying to control the watercolour and just playing for a while, figuring out what the water and paint will do together. In fact, there is an entire online class I found that is based on this premise. It's by Michelle Brown and it is called 'Loosen Up'.  So obviously when I heard about it, I knew she was talking to me.

The second is to let go of the idea of trying to produce something like the classic chocolate box landscape or seascape entirely in watercolour and use it more simply, as a colouring medium. Start with a permanent pen (i.e not water soluble) line drawing and then use the watercolour to fill it in like an illustrator might.Thirdly, keep it simple. Try painting a single subject with no background, like a flower or a pear. I took Martha Lever's Color Drop Flower class. In fact it was the first time I actually used my watercolour set in 10 years. Martha makes it all seem quite approachable.Watercolour is actually quite glorious. But it takes faith in the medium and quite a bit of patience to find this glory.

If you want to start a new habit successfully, make it easy

Garden doodles created in Joanne Sharpe's Doodle Arts and Letters online class

If there is a new habit to be started, then one thing I have learned is that it will never happen unless you make it as easy as possible. I don't think it is laziness, I think we are just busy. Once I bought one of those bits of fitness equipment from a TV infomercial (call it the folly of youth, or perhaps just plain hope). It said it would be easily collapsed and slid under the bed. Well, sort of. But in fact it was still way too hard to have to go scrabbling under the bed and erecting exercise equipment for that to have ever become a habit. Same with eating healthily. Unless the fridge and cupboards are stacked with readily available (no preparation required) healthy snacks, forget the sensible eating. The same seems to apply if you are wanting to draw and paint every day. My bustling family home doesn't accommodate a designated studio space. Nor would I want it to, to tell the truth, because I want to be with the rest of family rather than closeted away somewhere. And of course, were I to have such an art haven, there is a good chance I might never return from it...

My new art supplies trolley

So my art, and most importantly all its supplies, must be well organised. The key though, is that they are readily accessible. I found the solution on Gina Lee Kim's blog (thanks, Gina!), in the form of an Ikea kitchen trolley. Best of all I went online and discovered its exact aisle location in the store. This meant I was able to go directly to the trolley without the marital assault and parenting skill test that is the full scale tour of Ikea. Hurrah! Now all my essential art supplies are on this robust trolley, able to be wheeled about. Importantly, none of my pencils, pens or markers are still in their original packaging. This, I learned from Lovely Jane. Art supplies should be out and proud, not hiding in their packaging. Mine are able to glint flirtatiously at me for most of the day, and this alone helps me to find or make the time to use them. Its easy. That's the way to do it.

Right-brain or left-brain?

Mixed media 'balloon girl' in my art journal

I have been attending the right-brain virtual business summit. Being immersed in the world of creative people is rather delightful, but I must admit the whole idea of categorising people as right or left brain, gives me pause.

And as much as I love joining this band of 'right-brainers', I can't help wondering whether I am something of an imposter among them - a right-brain wanna-be. Or is it the opposite, that these creatives are in fact my people and I was never going to be comfortable in a left-brain dominated field? I have spent such a large part of my life utilising logic and analysis quite successfully, so that can't have been a complete misfit, can it?

The answer came from the right brain business summit itself.  Like most sensible advice, once I heard it out loud it seems fairly obvious. Melanie Duncan (one of the speakers) said that we should give ourselves permission to be both creative and analytical, and avoid pigeon-holing ourselves.

I think that is the problem with labels. We all love a classification test, whether it is Myers-Briggs personality tests, Cosmopolitan relationship tests or the test to determine which Big Bang Theory character you most resemble. They are fairly irresistible, particularly when you have actual pressing work to do. And of course, they can be helpful  in identifying one's strengths and weaknesses, but I think they also run the risk of feeding some of our limiting beliefs. However scientific the tests are, I have a hard time believing that they will all be spot on, all of the time. I would very much like to think that I am a deeply complex being, incapable of being classified. (I think there is a personality type for that.)

In truth, the idea of having one dominant side of  the brain is a myth that is now disproved. There is some evidence that better performance comes when both parts of the brain, logical and creative, work together. So far from feeling I have no right to be employing skills from the 'other side' of the brain, I should be embracing them.

If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.   Lao Tzu

We deserve a little bit of luxury every day

My favourite journal page created in Jane Davenport's I Heart Drawing class, using lots of different acrylic paints!

I think it is time to get out the 'good' glasses. You know, the ones reserved for 'company'. The ones we would use with the best plates after entertaining guests in the 'good lounge'. Why do we do this? If we have extra special things, why do we save them for other people? Are we saying these other people are of greater value than we accord ourselves? And, if we spent extra money on them, are we really getting value for it if they remain carefully stored most of the time and are brought out maybe only a few times a year? Doesn't seem likely.

And it's probably not just crockery and glass ware. What about that pair of designer shoes, still in the original shoe box, too special to be worn?

How about those deluxe pantry items... truffle oil, perhaps? Pomegranate molasses? Saffron? Those ingredients that languish on the shelf (probably until their expiry date) waiting for an important enough occasion. Like the big prime beef rib joint that seemed a good and festive idea but now strikes fear into your culinary heart. All you can think of is what a waste it would be to mess it up now. What pressure! No thanks.

The reason I started thinking about all this is that I notice I am doing the same sort of thing with art supplies. Tenuous distinctions are being drawn between different brands of acrylic paint. The superior artist quality ones are kept for special canvases and not intended for art journals.   There is 'craft' quality paint for that. And children's quality paint kept for, well, the children obviously. Of course, I don't have every colour in every brand of paint. I found myself floundering and confused in the middle of my painting, recently. I realised the frustration arose because I wanted a particular colour in my art journal that I only had in my fancy (i.e. seldom utilised) canvas paint. Oo what to do, what to do? Well, that is ridiculous left-brain thinking for you.....

You can put the accountant in the studio, but can you put the studio in the accountant, she wonders....

So I am not going to do that anymore. Paint is now paint, in my house. I'm mixing it up in happy mixed media style. The good, the bad and the frightfully expensive. Anything goes. The best things happen when you paint like a child, I think. We deserve the joy of using our 'special' things.  And if they are so precious that we can't bring ourselves to use them, we really shouldn't have bought them in the first place.

Creating something useful is very satisfying

Front cover of my handmade book

It could be that I felt I needed to atone for my recent perceived destruction of old books that I turned into art journals. In the world of mixed media art journaling, this is called 'altered bookery' apparently, and I wrote about it here a little while ago. My guilt dictated that I should confess what I had done, perhaps.

Anyway, shortly after that I discovered book binding. Not just a chance to play with pretty paper, not only the opportunity to make something useful, but also a chance to purchase..... oh yes..... more art supplies.

Coptic stitch binding

Binding my own book pleased me on so many levels.  For me, a big part of the delight in doing something creative  is actually creating something, something that before your action did not exist.  I suppose that it existed, but not in that particular form, so maybe it is more like alchemy. Alchemy seems pretty close to magic. And I think that is why I like baking so much too. One minute you have gloopy, transparent egg whites and a bit of sugar. With a bit of time and effort, you can completely transform these simple ingredients into magnificent crisp, shiny meringues. Similarly, some pretty paper and waxed linen thread can become a custom, unique, handy notebook. Hurrah!

Pretty paper for some of the pages

In The Creativity Cure, Carrie Barron explains that our modern lives no longer require the creative engagement that used to be necessary in our day-to-day activities.  We don't need to use our own hands to make or repair things any more, most of what we need is easily accessible. Sometimes we engage in creative activities for the pleasure of the process itself rather than for the finished product.  We doodle in the margins of our notes because it is fun, not because we need a completed page of doodles! Creating for process is important too, but it is different from being committed to producing an acceptable output. Those stakes, the necessity, is what results in the sense of achievement felt on completing the project satisfactorily.  Making a book gave me both: the fun of the process and a finished product with a practical use.

As is the case with pretty much anything you might want to learn these days, there is a generous expert or two prepared to show you exactly how, with the aid of You Tube. My preferred expert on the matter of DIY bookbinding is Sea Lemon.  She has provided clear videos for all aspects of the process: making the covers and signatures as well as the coptic stitch binding which I really like. I am rather keen on needlework, but as much as I like doing embroidery I don't seem to have too much need for embroidered thingamabobs. So this scratched the stitching itch just enough without leaving me searching for a purpose for my lovingly needle-worked creation.

The cathartic practice of keeping a daily journal

It seems to have been getting increasingly noisy in my head. Every mum probably knows what I mean. I think it is inevitable when you find that, on top of your own, you are keeping every family member's schedule, diet and personal comfort in the back of your mind. Did the kids take their jumpers to school today? Have we eaten way too much red meat this week? Which night did Beloved say he would be late home this week? If you add to all of that the usual mid life crisis stuff like...what is it all for?  what is my life purpose?  did I really think I would exercise three times this week?  shouldn't I have achieved more in my career by now?  is this what I really want to do for the rest of my days? ...then what you have in your head is a veritable cacophony.

Mixed media painting created in the online class  'Lifebook 2014'

I'm happy to say that I have, quite recently, found something simple which seems to be rather helpful. It is advice that I have seen in various guises from the woo-woo to the scientific.  Julia Cameron, in 'The Artist's Way', calls it morning pages, and describes it as "meeting your shadow and taking it out for a cup of coffee". Carrie Barron M.D.,  in 'The Creativity Cure', calls it  'insight' and the online journal provider Penzu says it is just plain good for you.

Essentially, it is journaling. It is a daily practice of writing out whatever is in your head, in whatever format it tumbles out. No regard for spelling, grammar, punctuation or even good sense. Nor in fact do you need to re-read it. And no one else need look at it either. It is like that thing people sometimes suggest you do to vent your anger at another person, when it is unwise or impossible to do so in person. Have you ever been told to write a letter to someone you feel has wronged or hurt you? To say everything you want to, in whatever language you choose? Usually, the advice is then to destroy the letter. The point is not for it to be a communication device. Carol Tuttle talks about the the healthy, open throat chakra that needs self-expression. Not to be heard, but simply to express itself, to release that energy.  I know... if you are not of the incense-burning, yoga and lentil, new age persuasion you were probably rolling your eyes at that.

But believe me it is a strangely cathartic experience. I have been using Penzu, which is contrary to Julia Cameron's advice, that long-hand writing works better, but I find that my typing better matches my speed of thought compared to my lazy handwriting. Somehow, writing out 1000 words per day of this stuff really calms the chattering monkeys in my head. I used to say some of this out loud to long-suffering family members, but I don't think this actually reduced the white noise in my head, and can't have been a great experience for the unsuspecting family member either!  However, spewing it out into a journal, probably never to be read again, somehow does help.  Once I have jettisoned that inevitable but unnecessary baggage I can actually function again. The feeling of not being able to see the wood for the trees dissipates and I can figure out my priorities for the day. Along the way, the odd good idea pops up.

This, I think, is a good habit I am very pleased to be acquiring. How about you - do you keep a journal?

Is it possible to be disciplined without a deadline?

Tiny journal page from my latest online class 'Draw Your Awesome Life'

I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed by being a bit behind on my online classes. On the one hand, there is really no such thing as being behind. The classes typically have long access, 6 months, a year or 'forever' access. So actually you can complete them in your own time. On the other hand, there is a lot to be said for the sense of satisfaction that comes from completing something promptly. A bit of structure is important I think. Does one actually need a deadline of some sort in order to be disciplined enough to complete the task?

I remember in high school I had a maths teacher who said she would happily correct our homework if and when we chose to hand it in, but that was up to us. I could so have got a better mark for maths. I blame her. I don't want my art classes to end up like high school maths, left to last because other things had more urgent deadlines. So with the weight of those uncompleted art assignments added to my maths homework (which I have obviously still not done), I sighed and started web browsing.

Before I knew it I had... signed up to another class! I know, but it seemed logical at the time. And this class is different. (Not really). Well, a little. It is completed in a tiny watercolour journal. Hurrah, I had one of those knocking about already. It is even a Moleskine and I have had no idea what to do with it since I bought it several months ago.

Another tiny journal page created in 'Draw Your Awesome Life'

This class is called Draw your Awesome Life, by Joanne Sharpe. Each lesson video is brief, maybe even 5 minutes or so, and since you are working in a tiny journal, the page can possibly be completed in 10 minutes. Even if you sit down with a cup of tea you will probably be only half an hour from the start of the lesson video to the completed page. That's not to say that I don't love the long detailed lesson videos I do in other courses. Of course, they are fantastic too. But these little bite-sized lessons offer very achievable, happy journal pages, for de-stressing. There is a time and place for all of these things, don't you think?

Qweeting: motivational benefits and art inspiration

The other day, I was at the hairdresser boning up on frivolous current events, as you do. I love this actually - it's my chance to read magazines I wouldn't usually buy. Also, I am captive for a while and can't really be asked to be doing something more productive or useful with this time, so it is proper 'time out'. Sometimes I learn a thing or too... like a new urban word. For instance, until then I was unaware of this thing called 'qweeting', which apparently describes the action of tweeting a quotation, something some one else has said. And yes indeed, it seems to be a rather popular pastime. I myself don't have too much time for the pearls of 'wisdom' offered by the latest starlet, supermodel, or D-list celebrity. There are though, plenty of qweets of favourite lines of poems or books and many an inspirational or motivational quotation. These, I do like, and the article I read in the hairdresser's (speaking of dubious sources of wisdom...) was suggesting that that this sort of qweet is beneficial for both those posting them and those reading them. Both are reported to benefit from greater motivation, less procrastination and a more positive outlook. Well, there you are then, it can't hurt, can it?

I have also found that a funny quotation, like the Helen Rowland one from my Sugar Diva painting, or a favourite poem, or even a woo-woo affirmation gives me a bit of inspiration for something to draw or paint. In fact, I think one of the first drawings I did that felt like it came just from me and not from the homework from an online course or a prompt from a drawing book was this little lady here. When I heard these words, it was she that popped into my head in all her earnest teenage awkwardness, and I loved letting her out of my pencil.

She is a work in progress, though, she is just in my sketchbook currently. She needs a background and I am toying with the possibilities right now. I could do a lovely messy mixed media background and then redraw her onto it. This thought causes some unease, but Lovely Jane always says that if you drew it once, you will be able to draw it again. I have also been meaning to play with acrylic transfer using matte medium and this might be a good opportunity to do so. Hmmm, so many options...

Variety is the sugar and spice of life

I  have been loving being a part of Lifebook 2014, one of the (too) many online classes I  have signed up for this year! One of the best things about Lifebook is that you get to see a variety of teachers, which means you get exposed to things you might not ordinarily have chosen. It is easy to get stuck in a rut, and stay in your comfort zone, probably without even noticing you are doing it. This is something I know I do in all things, not just art! Earlier this year, Marieke Blokland did a 'sweet' lesson - I'm not being trite or patronising - really, it was about drawing candy and a Sugar Diva. Now that could be my middle name, come to think of it...

Anyway, it was a wonderful combination of things I am used to, like drawing faces or creating layered mixed media backgrounds, and things I haven't even considered, like eyes that stick out wider than the head and fairy floss hair.

I have been fascinated by the process of learning to draw, learning new skills, but this helped me remember that art is fun, and that one of the best reasons for doing any of it is to play. I also remembered that my first drawing inclination was actually towards cartoons.

Marieke's wonderful lesson gave my inner zany cartoonist a nudge... about time too, she was starting to feel neglected...

Observation: fundamental drawing principle and exercise in mindfulness

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Cathedral pen sketch following Mark Linley's instructions on buildings in

How to Draw Anything

One of the most important parts of learning to draw is the power to observe. Actually, it is becoming apparent that the best drawings come from spending more time looking at your subject than at looking at your drawing in progress. So important is this skill that some art teachers make you draw without looking at your paper at all. This is fun, obviously, and you end up with some kooky whimsical drawings, but the point is that the better one's power of observation, the better the drawing, regardless of subject.

And that is important I think. In his jolly good book, 'How to draw anything', Mark Linley advises that one should learn to draw everything well and then specialise. Very liberating that would be too... Imagine being able to draw whatever crazy thing pops into your head...

Water mill pen sketch following Mark Linley's instructions on buildings in 

How to Draw Anything

However, the thing I probably underestimated is that not only is this good drawing practice but it is also an exercise in mindfulness. In order to carefully study something, to notice the way the light falls, to observe the shapes as they actually appear and not as you think they are, you need to be truly 'present'. Being present in the moment allows you to notice the joyful minutiae of life. If you have ever taken a walk with a three year old, you will know how very many minutes can be happily wiled away engrossed in the examination of every leaf, stick and bug on the pathway. I am finding that drawing is doing much the same thing for me - it can be completely absorbing.

Being present in the moment and delighting in the simple things is what the experts tell us is a pathway to happiness. Mindfulness has been shown to be helpful for stress, anxiety and depression.  I'm all for learning to meditate and taking mindfulness training. But, I couldn't be happier at the realisation that it need not be too complicated - that, in fact, a few moments of stillness and calm would seem to be a fairly effortless by-product of the joyful practice of drawing.

Altered books - recycling or vandalism...?

"Eek!"I am peeping out of the cracks in the fingers of my hand that leapt reflexively to my face upon watching Lovely Jane 'altering' a book for art journaling, in an online class. My Inner Librarian fainted when she witnessed the removal of some of the pages of an old picture book, so fortunately she can't see gesso and acrylic paint being slathered all over the remaining pages right now.

You see, I have always had the deepest respect for Books. Not for me, the dog-eared page corners... and notes scribbled in margins.....? Heaven forbid! No, no, my deep reverence for the printed word, ingrained since childhood, dictates that I never sully the book.

On the other hand, it does make good sense to take something old that might end up on the rubbish heap or recycled into toilet paper and give it new life and purpose as an art journal. A more dignified end...surely? In fact, not an end, but a new beginning, and I, of all people, can't argue against reinvention. It makes sense , I see that. Pages must be removed so that when those that remain have been thickened with paint, gesso, and collage, the book can still close properly. And of course, anyone intimidated by that blank page will understand the appeal of having an already 'imperfect' page to begin with, as a spring board, somewhere to start. I'm sure my Inner Librarian could raise some counter arguments but right now she is looking for her Xanax. My Inner Child however, is quite delighted with the idea and definitely thinks I should give it a whirl.

One of my first altered book pages

So is altered 'bookery' recycling or vandalism? It has taken quite a few months of internal debate to settle this issue within myself. But, when I was clearing out old editions of accounting textbooks, it seemed to be a sign. What a perfect exercise for me. Plastering a new life over the old one, as it were... Well, how could I not?

So here are some pages that were once all about costing models and budgeting but are now hosting colour, joy and playfulness...

The cover of an altered book art journal... hard to believe this was once an accounting textbook!

So I'm definitely warming to this whole concept of using an altered book. My only issue with this first one is that the paper is way too thin. Usually gesso makes up for poor paper quality, strengthening whatever paper is there so that it can take the painting and stamping and stenciling that one might feel called to do. Sadly though, this paper is just that little bit too thin, even with the gesso. It is manageable as you can see above, but just not as pleasurable to work with as it might have been. Something to bear in mind for next time.

I did have enormous fun with the cover though.... My beloved creams, lots of texture and a butterfly. Now that's more like it!

Finding your passions

You probably can't come within a mile of a mid-life crisis without hearing that you should be 'finding your passions'. Like much self-help pop psychology this is more broad concept than specific solution. What is it that really lights your fire? Gee, how could you have got this far in life without knowing this?

That emotive word, 'passion' makes you feel somehow deficient for not having, or at least not being able to articulate, something  apparently so vital to your well being.  It's terribly dramatic, being asked what your passions are, don't you think? What pressure! It seems apt for those of us who are typically boisterous, exuberant, excitable people. But we aren't all like that. 'Passion' probably looks different for different personalities.

And perhaps it is more like your favourite dress. The one about which you say 'I love this dress'. Not 'love' as in the trembling knees, palpitating heart, couldn't-possibly-live-without-it sense, you just mean that you really like it, and feel good in it.  That's what we want to find. Something we feel happy doing, something that connects to our authentic selves.

So if you have been searching for your 'life purpose', your 'passions' to no avail, maybe you should give yourself a break.  Maybe it's those grandiose terms that are misleading and  just a little scary. Let's give it another label. Ken Robinson has a better suggestion.  (Yes, I know  I have written about Ken before, but he makes a lot of sense!) His counsel is to 'find your element'... now that seems much more approachable, doesn't it?

Perseverance pays...

You know, there just might be something in this 10 000 hour rule.

Early attempt at a  face using alcohol markers

Early last year, about 400 art hours ago, I was introduced to Spectrum Noir Markers. They are alcohol based markers, which (when used with the right bleedproof paper or card) blend the streaky marks you inevitably make, all by themselves. So they are nothing like the markers we used as kids. They come in glorious colours and enable the production of beautiful, creamy skin tones. They do take some getting used to though. I remember being rather pleased with myself for being able to draw something resembling a face, under Lovely Jane's gentle instruction. Here is a face I drew back then using these very markers. I feel very brave revealing her, but she illustrates the point!

Another face, still using alcohol markers, but about 400 hours of drawing practice later!

I haven't really used these alcohol markers much because they are so fussy about the paper, and I am rather enjoying working in art journals at the moment.  But it is week 1 of 'Express Yourself'  another one of Lovely Jane's classes. Our warm up assignment was a shaded face using alcohol markers.

I think this face is much better than my earlier effort above, so I feel jolly encouraged and enthusiastic about doing more. It seems that we can learn new things, at any age.

I think there is a risk of being so focused on an outcome, the place you would like to get to, that you forget to notice where you have already been. It's a bad habit I am prone to, I think - the tendency to be more mindful of what I still can't do rather than acknowledging, or even observing, the current progress.

So here I am, pausing to take heart that practice does indeed seem to work, and ready to put in many more joyful hours of drawing.

In the midst of my self-appreciation, Beloved offered the observation that it looks as though she got smacked in the top of the head with an iron. Well. Yes....I see what he means. Luckily, I have 9 400 hours or so to work on that....

It's all about me....

Last week, the Lifebook 2014 lesson over at (willowing) was entitled "Be True to You".  They say that it is the exercises that you resist that have the most to teach you. To be honest, I'm not terribly keen on collaging (is that a verb? let's assume so...) ephemera - I would rather learn to draw a whimsical face, a leaping figure or distant buildings in perspective.  But I have promised myself I would do every single Lifebook 2014 lesson, and now I am glad of that.

 

The first step was to think of  three elements or symbols that are true to me. After getting over the initial surprise that I didn't know the answers to these questions automatically,  I noticed how nice it was to be forced to spend some time thinking about just me. How odd not to have instant reflexive answers to such a simple personal question. The colour scheme was easy. I have always been the Queen of Cream, as my interior decorating choices have long borne witness.  But as for what I like... hmm. I know what my children need from their mum, what their school requires from me as a parent, what my students want to take from me as a lecturer, what my academic colleagues expect as a researcher, and so on. But me, just me as me? I don't think I have ever thought about that too much before. So after some consideration,  here it is: words, music (my beloved ukulele - cream, obviously) and the simple elegance of a white tulip. C'est moi... apparently. 

 

 

 

What is the purpose of creativity?

One of the things that really troubled me, and particularly so when I first noticed this urge to start learning to draw and paint, was, what is the point of it all? I would feel this tickle of excitement, and perhaps a naughty giggle when I thought of doing just what my five year old daughter was doing. That rather fierce voice in my head would start up sternly..."What's with all the doodling? Have you forgotten you are an accountant? Shouldn't you be doing something useful... like perhaps, your actual job?  What is the purpose of this creative output?"

I have been a practical person my whole life. In fact I have been a creative person my whole life too.  I realise now, that while it might seem a little counter-intuitive, creativity and practicality, or at the very least pragmatism, are strongly related.  In Lilian Wissink's helpful book, 'The Creative Seed: How to Enrich Your Life through Creativity' she explains,

"Experts see creativity as a learnt ability to experiment time and time again and to problem solve until we get to a desired outcome. This process is practical, not mysterious."

So perhaps every creative activity is improving our imagination, willingness to explore and experiment, trust in our ability to think on our feet and find an innovative solution. In addition to this practical skill building, Lilian makes the other very valid point that we tend to be so focused on successful careers in our busy lives that we forget about, and undervalue the importance of, spending time doing something simply because it is fun.

Creativity is much discussed in both business and education worlds. One of my favourite experts on the subject is Ken Robinson, a totally engaging speaker - you can hear him speak here:  http://www.ted.com/speakers/sir_ken_robinson.html  Listening to Ken Robinson did help me get over these strange feelings of guilt or perhaps even shame at wanting to do something so apparently childish and unconventional. In fact, I now seem to be pretty well convinced that it is something most of us are missing out on. So... to the drawing board.... and beyond!

"The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls."     Pablo Picasso